Charlotte Harvs | Personal Style Blog
Charlotte Harvs | Personal Style Blog

Keeping Up Appearances

Do you ever feel like a fraud?

You tell people you're fine even when you're not. 

You tell family that work is good even when it stresses you out and you don't see a future there but don't know what else you can do. You tell your friends that you're keeping busy even when you're lonely because you don't see them as much as you like. You tell yourself that it's best to keep up appearances that you're perfectly happy even when you don't feel it because you don't want anyone's pity. You tell yourself that you have no right to be unhappy when people have it a lot worse even when you know that doesn't make you feel any better about things. 

I've been struggling this past week. That isn't to say I've not had lots of happy moments, it's just there have been more low moments than normal. 

I've not felt like taking outfit photos for a while now. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because I can't be bothered with setting up my camera. Or maybe it's because I don't want to look through the hundred photos and only find one I'm happy with. Everything has just felt like a lot more effort lately that by the time I'm dressed, done my hair and make up, I feel like I just want to sit down and take a break. 

I struggle with the idea of being lazy. I want to be one of those busy people that has things to do, places to go, people to see. However there is a strong gravitational pull to my sofa, laptop and whatever TV series I'm binging on. When I hear of all the things some people manage to pull off in 24 hours I'm just like, how do these people do it? It would probably take me a week to do what they can do in a day. 

Is it my fault? Am I not motivated enough? Am I choosing laziness? Or is it just the way I am and I just have to accept that? You get told to grab each moment, live each day like it's your last, create new experiences - but that all sounds pretty exhausting to me. 

Motivational videos tell you that you can be and do anything you want if you try hard enough. So is accepting your limitations damaging your potential?  If I accept that I just can't handle a busy lifestyle will that hold me back from all the things I could achieve? Or will it bring me peace because some of the pressure I put on myself is lifted?

All I can do at the moment is take each day at a time and try to take small steps towards being more of the person I want to be. Rather than dwelling on what I'm not doing, I need to reward myself for any progress even if that progress doesn't seem a lot to someone else. Also sometimes if you've got to dial things back for a bit, you should let yourself do just that.

I'm just word vomiting here :P I'm not looking for sympathy or pity as I don't want any of that. I know I'm very fortunate in a lot of ways, but we all have our own battles right?

There are always going to be people who don't get you. I mean how can they when the struggles you have are just plain alien to them? We're all built differently and even though my battles might seem small to some, I'm sure there are things that other people struggle with that don't even enter my mind.

Rocket Ronnie

Me and Tom have been toying with the idea of getting a puppy for a long while now. We put it off because if I was going to be a dog-mum, I wanted to be the best dog-mum and I wasn't sure if I would be. I think the reason I wasn't sure was because of what happened to the dog I had growing up. When I was younger, my mother bought a chocolate Labrador puppy and we called her Macie.

As Macie grew up we knew something wasn't quite right with her health-wise as she always stayed so slim and didn't put on weight even though she ate so much. Soon she was looking pretty skinny but the vets said she was just on the cusp of still being a healthy weight. Then she started biting and itching herself a lot despite not having fleas. She chewed at her own skin so much and it was turning scabby and she got an infection under her chin.

We spent hundreds at the vets trying to figure out what's wrong and in the end the vet said she had a mild allergy to dust mites, but then she was highly allergic to what her body produced to fight the allergy - so she was basically allergic to herself. We tried bathing her and steroids and things got a little more comfortable for her but not enough. Then she started getting lumps on her belly, the vet said they weren't cancerous at the time. Anyway, after lots of money and time spent on trying to make Macie better, my mum decided she couldn't look after her any more. (I am one of five and my two youngest siblings were still so young at the time.)

As Macie was a pedigree, a Labrador rescue centre took her in and fostered her. They sent us a photo after a while and said she was looking much better after more treatment. They had gone ahead and removed the lumps which did turn out to be tumours. All in all, our family did the right thing. I was at Uni at the time and couldn't take her in and Macie deserved to be with people who could spend the time and money on her.

So you can see why I would be hesitant on getting a new puppy. I want to be in a place where I know I will never have to rehome a dog ever again - dogs are a lifetime commitment and my family shouldn't have gotten one if they couldn't keep to that. My heart goes out to all the abandoned dogs in the rescue homes which is one of the reasons I knew if I were to get a dog, it would be a rescue dog. The other reason is that, as I'm older and the light has been shone on dog breeding more and more over the past years, I've questioned Macie's origins and think that maybe we bought her from some well disguised puppy farmers which could be why she ended up with such bad health issues.

So we weren't 100% set on getting a puppy. Yet sometimes life throws you curve balls. I was talking about puppies with my friend on facebook chat when I got a message off Tom who said that one of his clients had a puppy who was found abandoned on the street. His client had taken the puppy to the vets and he was in very good health and they guessed was around 8 weeks old. We met the little man and I just knew that I had to have him or nobody else would and he would be off to the shelter. At only 8 weeks old and unvaccinated, he would pick up all sorts of things from the shelter and he wouldn't be off to the best start in life after already being abandoned so young!

We didn't "pounce" on getting a puppy, it's something we've thought long and hard about, but when we saw this little man in need, we couldn't say no. The world had bought him to us after all ;) I'm sure my over-cautiousness can only mean that I care so much about being a good dog-mum which can't be a bad thing! Little Ronnie isn't always the easiest pup, he gets pretty hyper and hasn't got the hang of not biting me yet! But he's on his way. He's a clever little thing and is already getting the hang of sit, paw, lie down and fetch. Potty training is tiring but day by day Ronnie is slowly getting better.

Puppies require a lot of time and patience - especially this live wire! At the moment he sleeps in the spare room because there isn't much in there so he can't get in too much trouble. I put him up there during the day for a few hours so he doesn't get separation anxiety. He's actually so good at being alone and doesn't cry at night either which can be a big problem for some dogs. He just wakes me up early playing with his toys. We're thinking of crate training him which I know he's not going to be a fan of but I'm going to start very slowly, hopefully this will help with the potty training business too!

So yes, Ronnie is 100% most likely the reason I've not blogged since we got him a week ago. Also I can't really wear any nice clothes at the moment, the other day I wore my new tshirt and now it has a hole in it. Oh the joys! He is definitely worth it though and I can't wait to spend the next 15 or so years with him! I went out the other night to the pub and I think I am the one with separation anxiety from him as I couldn't wait to get back to see him :D

Don't confuse getting noticed with being seen

OUTFIT// Sleeveless Jacket

Primark Sleeveless Jacket | ASOS Grey Tshirt | ASOS Lisbon Jeans | Primark Slip-on Trainers

I got my new grey tee in the post the other day so I decided to create a really simple outfit around it. I've been reaching for plain tshirts and my jeans more and more these days. My style has always been fairly simple, but now I seem to be sticking to what you'd call basics I guess. I still like to always throw in that extra thing though, like this sleeveless jacket or these silver slip-on trainers, to make it just a little bit less basic. Plus, adding a bit of lipstick and some sunglasses always helps.


My Top Picks: Missguided

Like a lot of people at the moment I'm loving khaki and other earthy tones. I'm also opting for basic tshirts more and more and have yet to add a khaki tee to my collection. I never bought into the duster coat trend, but I'm really loving the look of this duster cardigan. Next up the mesh dress - I wouldn't wear this like the model has, I'd probably wear a bodycon skirt and a crop top underneath instead as I don't think I'd feel comfortable showing the world my undies. 

I adore this faux fur coat, it's just dreamy, but I already have a faux fur coat so don't know if I can justify another one as they aren't cheap. In the middle here we have a fabulous looking dress which I think would be perfect for the xmas party season! Finally, this kimono style cardigan looks just sooo comfy and I love the slouchy look.

If you were me, which of these would you order?


Roads that go nowhere

OUTFIT// Shearling Knit Jacket

I went shopping the other day for winter pyjamas and came home with this knitted jacket from Zara. I fell in love with it straight away which is something that rarely happens with me and clothes these days! It's super comfy and warm, plus can be layered underneath other jackets when it gets colder.


Your value doesn't decrease on someone's inability to see your worth

OUTFIT// Khaki Cropped Jumper & Men's Jeans

H&M Cropped Khaki Ribbed Jumper | Jack & Jones Men's Jeans | Vty trainers

First outfit post in over a month and I'm wearing the same jumper as last time... fail. I am wearing new trainers and different jeans though ;) which are another pair of men's jeans by the way. The most authentic form of boyfriend jeans I have to say. I mean come on, what is not to love about men's jeans? First off, the pockets are HUGE. I can pretty much fit my whole arm into the pockets on these... 

Last night was mine and Tom's traditional "Thai Take Away and Walking Dead" night. If you've watched last nights episode or not, all I'm gonna say is that I hold a glimmer of hope that things didn't actually happen how they looked like they happened.

Two of our friends here own a bar, so on Sunday we went round for a sunday roast, few games of pool and a couple of ciders. Last Thursday we went into Palma with some other friends so Tom could partake in a "killer pool" competition and there was of course cider as well. Hmm and I think that's pretty much been it for last week. Gonna go shopping this week, I want to get some new winter pyjamas :D


A/W Wishlist

one | two | threefour

What A/W wishlist wouldn't be complete without a new jacket, some knitwear and a pair of ankle boots?!

For my a/w jacket this year, I'm really feeling something suede with a shearling collar and this jacket from Esprit looks perfect, so warm and cosy. Next up for knitwear I'm craving something in a camel shade and I find that thinner knits are much more flattering on me (also I adore the ribbed textures that are about at the moment) so this one from Forever 21 is something I've got my eye on. Moving onto accessories, I feel like I've got enough scarves, but only one fedora which is in black so I quite fancy a fedora in olive. Finally, I really want to invest in a new pair of boots this season and I've being eyeing up snake print boots for a good while now. (However I also adore every single pair of boots in this post too - so many amazing prints/colours/textures out at the moment!)